TRANSITION

My relationship with death has changed.

It has taken me it has taken 59 weeks for me to get the courage to pen this down. My Mom passed away 59 weeks ago and that was when this journey started.

I never really thought about death I have experienced the death of loved ones but it’s not until it happens to someone who’s really close to you then it always seems so far. Like an abstract idea.

I always thought of death as the end of life. Like that persons life has completely come to an end but the past 59 weeks have taught me that death is a transition from one stage of your journey to another. That the journey doesn’t stop simply because they are no longer here physically. The love they have for you doesn’t end and the love you had for them becomes more intense i think it has to do with the fact that the feelings have to transcend this physical plane that we live in.

It’s been a journey coming to this realization. This doesn’t take away from the days when your heart hurts so much it becomes physical pain. That there are days you cry yourself to sleep because it doesn’t make any sense. How could someone you love so much no longer be there?

How will your life be without that person?

Then you realize the only way is to learn to live in the present not the past where you had the person or in the future where this person isn’t there physically but live in the now learn the dynamics of this relationship

This is a new normal.

A letter to my lost friend

Dear Lost Friend,

Where do I start?

How are you? I really want to know.

Are you happy? Are you healthy? (Physically and mentally)……Tell me, tell me everything I want to hear your story.

I hate it when someone asks me whats new with you and so I won’t take you through the same.

I will hug you and listen.

I’ve been thinking about you, the laughter, the tears, the conversations

I just want to say thank you for allowing me into your life

Thank you for showing me a different way of seeing life

It’s been while since I saw or spoke to you, I am not sure what happened we didn’t argue or fall out.

We just slowly started hanging out less and less and well before I knew it all I had was memories of our friendship.

It’s life I guess….. it took us on different paths

I miss you immensely, I know a lot has happened since we last spoke or hangout some good and some bad.

You were there for me during the bad and I do hope I can do the same for you especially to celebrate your wins

Let’s reconnect

Who Am I?

It’s a Saturday morning, I’m in my Alma mater attending a digital marketing training. The target audience was the alumni and there are a lot of familiar faces. Some people I interacted with and others I just saw around or we shared a class.
There’s a feeling a nostalgia, familiarity. In this space, at this particular moment I question who am I?
I feel different. My thought process. Where I see my life going and even how I interact with my peers.
I was always the quietest one in class I didn’t answer questions. I questioned myself a lot and this followed me even later after leaving school.
But today I feel I have something to share. I feel I can put myself out there and not let fear cripple me.
But does that mean I know who I am?
I just think it means that I am willing to try.
Willing to put myself out there and willing to learn.
Have you found yourself in such a place?
I hope this resonates with you.
I would love to hear from you.
Until next time xo

Vipassana Meditation

Hi Lovlies,

I  hope y’all have been good and shining bright like a diamond…..see what I did there……

I know you’re probably wondering what Vipassana is…. I’ll soon get to it lemme tell you the back story first and how I ended up there.

I had been feeling quite depressed, and so tired all the time! My mind racing, I couldn’t focus on anything. I figured something had to give, so I decided to give meditation a chance after reading a few articles and watching videos and all of them kept mentioning meditation. and I started doing the 30 day meditation challenge and day 4 happened to be  the magic  moment ,it was Vipassana, then I had a light bulb moment I remembered that my neighbor had mentioned it afew years earlier after he took the course. So I decided to look it up  http://www.ke.dhamma.org

Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, it’s one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation . It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than 2500 years ago. This is a non- sectarian technique aims for the total eradication of mental impurities and the resultant highest happiness full of liberation.

The technique is taught at 10 day residential courses during which the participants are prescribed to follow a prescribed Code of discipline. Vipassana can be used to develop a healthy mind.

I’d urge you to follow the link so that you’re able to learn more about it. I hope you learnt something new today.

That’s all for today folks.

Until next time

Be happy 🙂

Finding my purpose

Hello lovlies,
I do hope you’ve been awesome, my apologies for being M.I.A  work has been crazy over the last few months. Now that I’m here let’s get right into it.

Yes, my post has the same title as my blog no creativity haha🙈.

This year I decided to go on a journey, a personal development journey and boy, has it been interesting, I have had my ups and down.

There are days I woke up and wanted to go back to bed and never leave I felt like it was all too much:(:( and there are days I was ready to conquer the world nothing could keep me down🙌🙌 and today was just one of those days.

Over the last few months I’ve learnt to trust the process, I’ve learnt that it’s not going to be easy but it’ll be worth it.
I’ve learnt that everything will fall into place when the time is right and you’re ready for it.

I’ve also picked up a few affirmations along the way.
I am a Queen,
Because I
Govern my reality,
Rule my happiness,
Lead my ambition.
That’s all for today folks:).
I do hope you can relate have an awesome day.
XX

I am not my hair

Hello my lovlies,
Been a while I know,,, did anyone miss me? I hope you did 🙂
Does my title ring any bells? Maybe one fab song by India Arie?
Remember My dramatic proposal to my hair? Well I’m still faithful in fact I’m in too deep:):)

I did my BC “big chop” about three weeks ago and I’m absolutely loving it the texture and curls.
If you can’t relate my hair is now the length of the first pic☝:)
If you’d told me two months ago I’d have short hair and feelin ‘ myself I wouldn’t have believed you.
Coz all my life I’ve always wanted long straight hair. I was obsessed!! Like I’m not even kidding I even had dreams of me with long straight hair.
Now all I Care about is healthy hair and plus I’m totally lovin’ my short hair except when it refuses to cooperate but I love it none the less. I do hope someone joins me on this hair journey.
I left a little prezzie :):) the chorus to the song as in my title .

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
Until next time.
XO

To be or not to be

Hey there☺
If you want something so bad , all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it~ Paul coelho
Have you ever come across something that completely changed the view you have of life?
Well for me it was from the alchemist that statement is always winning for me. can I get a what what ;):). You know you want to😜
I digress.
but have you ever realized as human beings its just so hard to focus on one thing? There’s so much you want to achieve but it seems like you don’t have enough time?
Well for me in my head I have so many things that I always want to do and I end up doing them halfway because I stretch myself too thin. Well this year I’m getting my shit in order lol focusing on a couple of things instead of trying to do too many things and end up doing them halfway. Do you find yourself in the same position as me?
Xoxo
Until next post

Down but not out

Heeeey 🙂
I know I haven’t put up anything up of late. I have been very uninspired but today things changed:D
I just discovered there’s a natural trail at the office compound so armed with my Japanese relaxing orientals I decided to “get away” it was quite relaxing to say the least the view was to absolutely die for!!

View from a tree house

Beautiful. don’t you think?
I didn’t have anything specific to talk about I just wanted to share the pics coz I thought they were absolutely beautiful 🙂
It being the month of love what have you been up to?
Talk to me 😀 until next time
XO

how time flies….

my post today is about time…clearly as my title indicates and the image that i got from Google 😀

but before i get started I’m so happy that i am getting positive feedback from my friends who have read all my posts…shucks… i have the best friends 🙂

back to the topic at hand. recently i bumped into an old friend we grew up in the same neighborhood since we were about zero years :P. Anyway i hadn’t seen her since i was about 15yrs. it was nice seeing her again after all those years but i was at a loss. it was in the evening both of us tired from work and we were gonna play catch up for the 8 years that we hadn’t seen each other? it just wasn’t possible. where do you start?

As i went home that day i realised that so much has changed. i wasn’t the painfully shy teenager. i am still shy i have just learnt to mask it well. lemme try and paint a picture about how shy i was. one time when i was 14 a boy that i had been crushing on for months finally noticed me and when he came to talk to me i literally couldn’t say a word!! i stammered like a fala (sheng’ word for fool) my palms were sweating and my ears felt hot. you know like when you get your ears pierced. i was so embarrassed that i ran back to the house and didn’t leave for the rest of the week. *if i could meet young Maureen I’d tell her to just chill* sigh…

Back to the present situation, sometimes i look at my photos and wonder where did all that time go? I feel like i am watching a movie about my life like in 13 going on 30. It feels like yesterday i was the akward late bloomer in primary and now i am confident young mami handling my b’ness. when i was younger in my late blooming stage.. lol i couldnt wait to grow up i was in such a hurry that sometimes i forgot to just chill and enjoy now its the complete opposite i try as much as i can to soak in the sun and slowing down and appreciating everything around me…well..not everything but i’m sure you get the drift. Now that i am bit older and wiser i appreciate quality time with my fam and friends and just chilling doing nothing. to be honest i never thought i’d be that ‘kind’ of person because i was wrapped up in my own world.

i’d like to hear from you. what would you tell the younger you? or your favorite childhood memory

feel free to share your comments

until next time

XO 🙂

my legacy

i know i promised to share my 2015 resolutions but i am allowed to take a detour yes?
earlier this week i was watching a re run of my all time favorite documentary “the men who built America” its a four part series and everytime i watch it i cant help but be amazed.
basically its about the richest men in America they were all self made billionaires well all except J.P Morgan but he also did his thing lighting up America he was the first person to invest in DC direct current electricity. the thing i admire most about J.P Morgan is despite his father having the biggest hedge fund in AMERICA which BTW exists until now he decided to venture out of the family business which he’d been involved in since he was 14. he took a gamble with all of his money and invested in electricity his biggest critic was his father who told him he had made the worst business decision but he set out to prove him wrong anyway long story short if it wasn’t for J.P Morgan and the risk he took lets just say we would still be using oil lamps.
now back to me. i have always wondered what kind of legacy I’d leave behind for my future generations if i had a road named after me that would be pretty cool don’t you think? but i would like to do good for my community like Wangari Mathai who stripped naked so she could save karura forest and uhuru park she’ll always be remembered for that. i do try and play my role participating in community service but i wonder am i doing enough? will i touch someone’s life? because at the end of the day if i inspire just one person that would be my greatest achievement.
have you thought of the legacy that you’d like to leave behind? feel free to share your thoughts with me.
OH.. I’d recommend for you to watch it. the men who build America i do hope you enjoy it.
until next time
x